Immense weight on the soul

It may happen that we meet a person in the spiritual world but remain cut off from him because of our feelings or affection or dislike that envelop us like a visionary cloud. Such meetings after death are accompanied by deep feeling, by a real inner experience, and this is most important.

We might feel, for example, that we have not loved someone on earth as much as we should have done and now after death, notwithstanding that we are in his presence and wish to love him more, we find that we can only bring as much affection as we had for him on earth. This is true in spite of our earnest desire to love him more and make amends for what we failed to do on earth. 

We experience this sense of limitation, this total incapacity to develop further one’s inner powers, as an immense weight on the soul after death.

Source: Rudolf Steiner – GA 140 – Investigations Into Life Between Death and Rebirth: Lecture 1 – Milan, October 26, 1912

Translated by R. M. Querido